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RAW

by Robert Milton

RAW (in the mind of PTSD), 2019
photographer unknown    

Robert has been shortlisted for the 2019 Australian War Memorial Napier Waller Art Prize.

REPRODUCED COURTESY OF ROBERT MILTON

I painted this piece to help with my rehabilitation with chronic post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Although I have lived with PTSD for well over two decades I have only recently been diagnosed with chronic PTSD.

I posed myself in this manner to show the sheer dejection you have of life and why things just don’t matter anymore. Everything is a lot of trouble and is exhausting, and so I wanted to capture this kind of hopelessness you feel.

You get to a point when you just want it all to stop, the visions the nightmares, the “daymares” (as I call them) which there is no escape from, no matter how many drugs they give you.

The peripherals of the painting are a snapshot in a day of my life. It shows what I see and feel on a daily basis with no warning.

The painting took two weeks to complete; I started on the outside first as this was quite time consuming and confronting. I painted the outside in grey tones to reflect my visions and daymares. When they do come, they are not always in detail, which is frustrating as I work with detail.

Reviewed 10 March 2021

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